could be the end....

Well, today's blog COULD be the end of blog's I make from the US for 2 months, but, I dunno for sure yet. I have ALL of my packing yet to do, so, I may be a little bit busy for the next day and a half. My flight doesn't leave until 2:30 on Wednesday, I thought it left at 1, or better yet 11 am...but what do I know. The couple of days have been crazy. Thanksgiving w/ Heather's family was great, a lil weird, but, if you had a father like hers, you would understand. Then, OF COURSE, I watched football, the Cowboys won, it was great. Speaking of football, the Panthers won their 3RD GAME OF THE SEASON YESTERDAY; yes it's a small victory, but, ya gotta be happy with what you have (they could get into the playoffs if they won every game after this, unlikely, but hopeful). Anyways, Friday......Friday I went shopping w/ Shannon on the biggest shopping day of the year here, when people fight over the poplular toy of the year. Shannon, her twin one year olds, and I went shopping. Everything was fine till we went in Toys R Us, we were exhausted when we came out of there. That was our last stop. After that Blaire and lil Landon came over for the night, then hung out the whole next day, it was fun. Then she convinced me to go to Rachael's 21st b=day party at Applebees. Reminder: Rachael is the one not talking to me. SO, I went. Everything turned out REALLY WELL! Rache and I talked, and got everything sorted out, it was really good. Yesterday (Sun.) my family and I exchanged my Christmas presents...i gave them theirs, they gave me mine...yeah, I thought you would catch on. It was really nice. Then Sheena, David (lil bro), and I went to see "After the Sunset" at the movies, it was REALLY good! I also picked up the Oakley's that Steven wanted me to bring over....so ...yeah...STeven I got 'em...lol. Well, that's all pretty much. I gotta get off here before my Mom gets back from her first class and says "YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AND YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET DONE PACKING....." and so on. Ah I'm in for a crazy 2 days......fun stuff!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I can't believe it's Thanksgiving already! I know that most of you that read this don't have Thanksgiving today, since you're either from Ireland or Canada, and of course your country is weird and doesn't do it today, lol. Well, today should be a day of blessing, of counting our blessings traditionally, so that's what I plan to do. It's a beautiful, 60'F sunshiny, day today, and the Thanksgiving parade is on TV, and there will be football later, HOW MUCH BETTER CAN IT GET! Well, today my family is at the beach celebrating Thanksgiving, and I decided to stay home because of all the plans I had to make for my trip to Ireland next week. I'm going to be spending the Thanksgiving meal w/ an old friend's family, so at least I still get turkey. Well, I have to get ready, but I want to make a list of some of the things I'm thankful for first, so here they are.
I'm thankful for:

• My God who loves me no matter the messes I make of my life, and who always picks me up again, and cleans me up
• My family, who has ALWAYS supported me in whatever I wanted to do with my life, and help me chase and achieve my dreams--Thank you Mom and Dad, for being such a godly influence on me.
• My fiance, Dave, who has loved me even before I thought of him as more than a friend, but has ALWAYS been my friend, who has listened, let me cry, held me tight, and and loved me unconditionally
• My older sister Shannon. Who has always given me advice, told me I could move into her house anytime, has been my friend, my advicate, and meant the world to me
• My lil sister Bethany, who still lets me be apart of her life, who still whispers to me at night about the boy she likes, and who still asks me "does this look ok?" (and vis versa).
• My older brother Shaun, who I idolized as a child, and still look up to as "mom and dad's perfect son" today, lol. Thank you for letting me always tag along, it meant everything to me
• My lil brother David, who is the one in our family to keep sports in the picture. Who I can talk football with, and buy movies for. Who is the big NC STATE fan with me, and can still laugh at our hilariously silly, weird family
• My friend Sheena, who has been there for me regardless of how I yelled at her to stay out of my BAD decisions about my life at the time, has cried W/ me, has picked up the pieces of SO many bad relationships and told me I would find "him" someday(you were right!), and who changed her phone plan just so she could call me in Canada
• My friend Blaire, who gave me another chance at being her friend. Who is always there to do silly stuff with, reminisce about our wild highschool days, and lets me into her life
• The family cat Annie, for making me realize I DON'T want a cat, because I hate cats, especially they're fur

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, don't forget what you're thankful for today.

...a time to cry

I've had this class for 2 days now, 2 days in a ROW I might add, and I've felt exhausted every time I get done w/ them. I'm at my wits end! I called a "very disciplinary" teacher in there yesterday, TWICE, and as soon as she left, they were back as they were. I yell most of the class, and they couldn't care less. Some of the people have been suspended recently, but even that hasn't scared them. They're freshmen, and they're flesh eating little rodents, and I hate them all. I feel sorry for the ones in there who ACTUALLY make an attempt to try and learn, it's of no use, they others FORBID them to by their actions! I almost cried in the middle of class yesterday, but of course I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. They were a little better today, if that's possible. I came in with both barrel's blazing. They asked if they could look at their notes before their quiz, I said "No, you should have done that last night, I will have no tolerance for this class today because of the way you behaved yesterday." I didn't either. I can't take a nap today though, I have things to do! Happy things!
After I go to the gym today, we're going to decorate for Christmas! Yes, I realize it's still a week before Thanksgiving, but, my parents want to do it while I'm still here, and next week we'll be at the beach w/ my grandparents helping build a new deck, so it's now or never. Wow, was THAT ever a run-on sentence, lol. I LOVE Christmas! I love seeing the tree lights at night, and the Christmas decorations all over the house, I love it! I even love the Christmas music for a whole month. It makes me So happy, I really enjoy the family time during Christmas, but this year, I'll be with Dave's family! I'm really excited about getting to know them.
Well, I have one more class of the day. They use to be awful, now they seem like angels compared to 4th period...oh how I loathe them. I must go I suppose. I think I'm gonna read Chris's blog, it always makes me laugh. I love you Chris.
p.s. notice how I started using words like "loathe" and "rodent" and "forbid", I guess it happened because I just finished reading "Wuthering Heights," along w/ a trail of other classics, good book, ended ok actually, I was surprised considering how depressing the rest of the book was. Ok.. Bye!

6 pages of gift registry!

....and that was for just ONE place...I didn't even CHECK the others!
I went and bought a wedding gift for some of my old friends today, Heather & Jake. They're wedding registry is HUGE! I mean, they put stuff like "ice cube trays" on there, they're like $0.85! Yeah, so I don't think I'm gonna put that kind of stuff on my registry. Speaking of which, I haven't registered yet, and I don't know when I should start really. I mean, who really knows how to do all this stuff other than people who've been married before. And honestly, my mom isn't being a big help, she had a very small wedding, and she already had a house and stuff when she got married. I just feel like I'm doing it all wrong, but I guess it doesn't really matter huh?
Yeah, so yesterday's blog was a little intense, s0rry about that. I'm about to go to a photography place to see if I want to use them for our wedding. Dave likes his pictures, but he has a reputation of not staying long at the reception.
Every time people find out I'm engaged they do that thing that happened continually on the movie "Just Married," they say, "You're too young! You have your whole life ahead of you!" And then I think...yes, and I want to spend every second of it with Dave! By the way, that movie was HILARIOUS, I recommend all engaged people see it.
Ok, so I don't have much to do, so I guess I'll say good-bye. I'm heading to church after the photo place. I think I'm in charge of the game for the youth tonight. I'm gonna split them up into teams and let them pick a person to duck tape to the wall. The person who stays stuck the longest wins! It's GREAT fun, I did it when I was in youth. lol. Toodaloo!

to spill out of the head and heart

I lie there at night, try to sleep, but sleep doesn't come quickly. I always think of the wedding or the photographer, or how the heck i'm suppose to pack for 2 months and NOT fill two suitcases to overflowing. I think how I miss his hugs, and how Rachael still isn't talking to me. I love that I get to see Blaire and talk to Sheena lots, but it's just not enough. I'm so desparetly lonely. I'm lonely for a Christian friend who I can ask to pray for me, who I can cry with, who I can go to church stuff with, or even TALK about church. Sheena is those things to me, but I get to see her so very seldom. I'm lonely for that Christian fellowship. I fill each day with work, the gym, and a little TV and it's over and I start again, the same as the next! I worry if marriage will be all I hope it will be, or if I'll still be lonely except for Dave. I don't believe that 2 people can be everything to each other, not for me anyways. I need outside people, people to trust in, and input into our lives. I want to minister to others, and use whatever I can to help them get the most out of this life! I want to know if we're going to be ok, if we're going to be able to make it in this country. I want our families to be closer. I want to be OH so close to his mother, yet how can i, when she lives all the way in Ireland, if we're to live here! Most of all I worry that I'll be like my mother. That I worry all the time, and fill my life to max with pointless things that don't matter for anything. That I'll have child who I just CAN'T understand or get along w/ (that would be me). I'm worried that I'll treat Dave like I treat my mom; I don't treat her as she should be treated, I yell often, and have a short temper w/ her only. I want to be the person GOD wants me to be! But sometimes, I just dont know how. I want to help, not hinder, but.....I don't know how, i feel like i have more bad characteristics than good most of the time. So many thoughts, no time to write them down. Ah well, thanx for listening to my ramblings.

good weekend!

Hi there! Well, the weekend DID go good! My family and I went to Winston-Salem for Friday night, as I mentioned on Friday, and it was a lot of fun! We went to the Olive Garden to eat (our favorite resturant) and then to Barnes & Nobles (fav. book store). We stayed there for probably around 2 hour--sipping coffee, listening to music, and reading books and magazines...good times. I bought "The Screwtape Letters" and looked at "The Devil Wears Prada," looks like a funny book, I put it on my Christmas list. I also put the cd's "American Idiot"-Greenday's newest, and the new Cake on my list, good stuff. Ya know, Barnes & Nobles (like the Canadian's Chapters) is my favorite place. It's so peaceful, it's almost a religious experience for me. I don't talk much while I'm there, I like to sit in perfect silence under the "trees" in the kids section, just looking at childhood books, or whatever, it calms me, gets me ready for whatevers ahead that week. I wish there was one closer than an hour away, but at least it's not farther than that. Saturday we went to the mall--did some Christmas shopping. Then off to the gym, I was the only girl there, weird, but whatever. I got to run on the treadmill while watching 4 football games, TOTALLY awesome! Speaking of football games...the Panthers WON last night!!! I KNOW I couldn't believe it EITHER! Considering they are 2 and 7 (after last night) this season, so say the least, they're not doing too well. But, it was a great game, AWESOME interception at the end by the Panthers! I got so see Blaire alot this weekend, and the baby, which is really good. I SO much enjoy spending more time with her! I love it! Ok, class time again, gotta go!

sucky week...

I can't believe it's been 10 days since I blogged here. When I first came home timed dragged, now it seems to fly by so fast I don't have time to BREATH! Well, I sent off Dave's immigration stuff tomorrow, so maybe we'll actually be able to LIVE in this country. Although the stuff we just sent in just allows him to stay here for 3 months BEFORE the wedding. Then he has to apply for a work visa if he wants to work, and then conditional permanent resident, and then UNconditional permanent resident. Fun fun....so we have LOTS of paperwork before us.
Well, since Halloween nothing really exciting has happened to me. I've gone to work, gone to Gold's Gym to work out almost every day, and watched a lot of TV. I've still managed to put off finding a photographer for the wedding, although since the visa stuff is done, I'm gonna have to do that next week.
I did manage to alienate my friend whom I've know for 12 years now, who is now not speaking to me at all. This is the story. Last Saturday night, Blaire, Rachael and their significant other's and I went to a club called the Liquid Lounge in Charlotte. I somehow ended up talking to Rachael's boyfriend. I said something really stupid to him, about her not being mature enough to get married. Then he told her, and she said she didn't want to see me or talk to me or hear from me ever again. Yeah, I'm one big idiot. I've called her 3 times this week and left messages on her cell phone. I also sent flowers to her at work. I still haven't heard from her. Because my big stupid mouth, I may have lost the friend I have known the longest. Yeah, so it hasn't been that great of a week. I haven't slept much. Well, I'm off to work. Then I'm going to Winston-Salem with my parents for the night, hopefully it will be good family time w/ them, I don't do that very often.

till the season to be scared by Scream Masks

After my debut as Hermione on Friday, I thought my weekend was to be uneventful, however, that was not to be. Saturday I went to my lil brother's last soccer game. He played his heart out, but the team just WASN'T working together, and they lost. Saturday night Bethany and I went to the Fall Festival at Piedmont (my old college). It was really fun! We played a whole bunch of corny games (get it, CORN-Y...ha HA...ok I'll stop now). We crawled through a maze of cardboard boxes and got to do the hit-the-mole-on-the-head thingy, and jouste each other off of balance beams. Then came the most awesome....the car bash!!! MAN, I hit that thing so hard, SO many times w/ the sledge hammer, that my ARMS were sore the next day! I mean, you have to admit, that the sound of breaking glass is pretty sweet (i'm not violent I swear...lol)!!! Then Sheena, B, and I went to Barnes & Nobles (only the greatest place on EARTH!) and got coffee and read "I spy" books (sorta like "Where's Waldo", but looking for other little things). We stayed there for like 2 hours, it was SO fuN! Then came Sunday, Halloween. Sunday night Blaire, Chad, Matt (Blaire's lil bro), and I went to the Shriner's Haunted Trail. It was actually pretty scary. We got in there and I was holding on to Matt, and vis versa, and it was crazy. We were fine until the chain saw people started coming after us, then Matt had my hand and tried to run through this tunnel thing, but it wasn't as wide as he thought, and my head slammed into this BOARD! Yeah, it hurt, but I wasn't gonna slow down! The chain saw people wore scream masks (which is the only movie that has ROYALLY FREAKED me out for YEARS now!!), and THAT didn't help. But, when it was all over, and my heart beat went back to normal, it was actually really fun. So that was my weekend....gotta go teach some more! toodles!