"Searching for God knows what"--"I wondered if the Christian faith in America had not been hijacked as well, hijacked by those same two issues: abortion and gay marriage. How did a spirituality such aas Christianity, a spirtiuality that speaks of eternity, of a worldwithout end, of forgiveness of sins and a mysterious union with the Godhead, come to be represented by a moralist agenda and a trickle-down economic theory? And more important, how di a man born of Eastern descent, a man whocalled Himstelf the Prince of Peace, a man whom the sacred writings describe eating with prostitutes and providing wine at weddings and healing the sick and ingnoring any political plot, a man who wants us to turn the other cheek and give all our possessions if we are sued, become associated with--no, become the poster boy for--a Western moral and fianacial agenda communicated through the rhetoric of war and ignorant of the damage it is causing to a world living in poverty?
My only answer is that Satan is crafty indeed."
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Ponderings
book-Searching for God Knows What--"Some of us are athletes and others of us are physicists, and some of us are good-looking and some of us are rich, and we all are running around, in a way, trying to get a b unch of people to clap for us, trying to get a bunch of people to say we are normal, we are healthy, we are good. And there is nothing wrong with being beautiful or being athletic or being smart, but those are some of the pleasure of life, not life's redemption....[he imagines Jesus is saying] Look, you guys are running around like monkeys trying to get people to clap, but people are fallen, they are separated from God, so they hae no idea what is good or bad, worhty to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly to begin with. Why not get your glory from God? Why not accept your feelings of redemption because of His pleasure in you, not the fickle and empty favor of man? And only then will you know who you are, and only then will you have true uninhibited relationships with others."
Dave and I were talking about this the other night. We were discussing how we get our worth from people around us-boyfriends, husbands, friends, parents, siblings--but they will never be able to fill us completely-they will never be able to be everything we need to feel we are something of worth. We will never feel completely filled by people. It isn't wrong to want to be considered worthy by people, but it is a degraded source. I said to Dave, "Trying to be filled by people is a secondary source. It's like saying you are completely filled up from dessert AFTER eating dinner. Dinner is what filled you up--IT was the main course-the main substance, not dessert. God is the main course. We will never be able to be fully filled by dessert, by people." God, in the garden was everything to Adam. Adam didn't need Eve because he didn't feel worthy enough as a human being, he needed Eve because he was lonely, not worthless. Only AFTER the fall did we, as humans, feel we need human adoration. God wasn't there to tell us we were everything he created us to be, so we looked elsewhere, to an imperfect human, someone of our equal, to tell us how special we are. I can't get off this topic--it is amazing to me. We see people every day at the mall, trying so hard to be everything people want them to be, but people's desires change, fads change. God never changes.
Dave and I were talking about this the other night. We were discussing how we get our worth from people around us-boyfriends, husbands, friends, parents, siblings--but they will never be able to fill us completely-they will never be able to be everything we need to feel we are something of worth. We will never feel completely filled by people. It isn't wrong to want to be considered worthy by people, but it is a degraded source. I said to Dave, "Trying to be filled by people is a secondary source. It's like saying you are completely filled up from dessert AFTER eating dinner. Dinner is what filled you up--IT was the main course-the main substance, not dessert. God is the main course. We will never be able to be fully filled by dessert, by people." God, in the garden was everything to Adam. Adam didn't need Eve because he didn't feel worthy enough as a human being, he needed Eve because he was lonely, not worthless. Only AFTER the fall did we, as humans, feel we need human adoration. God wasn't there to tell us we were everything he created us to be, so we looked elsewhere, to an imperfect human, someone of our equal, to tell us how special we are. I can't get off this topic--it is amazing to me. We see people every day at the mall, trying so hard to be everything people want them to be, but people's desires change, fads change. God never changes.
Monday, February 19, 2007
All Gone
Well-the snow came and went pretty quickly, but it was pretty while it lasted. I LOVE waking up to several inches of snow. Anyway-I just wanted to post this absolutely ADORABLE picture of Dave :). Oh-for my real Valentine's present Dave made me a love letter box and wrote me a letter inside it to say-this box is a promise to say I will fill this box. I'll post the letter later--it was so beautiful it made me start crying instantly. I'm off now-I'm supposed to be watching the original "King Kong"--VERY glad it's not as long as the new one. Ta ta!
P.S. Tomorrow I'm off to go snowboarding with my family---SOOOO excited about that. Haven't seen them since Christmas and I haven't been snowboarding in 3 years!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know that teaching test I took about a month ago called the Praxis and thought I had failed---well--I PASSED! I'm SO excited, relieved, and exstatic! Thanks for all the prayers!
Also--It snowed several inches here last night- LOVE IT! Snow is beautiful!
Well--getting ready to help lead praise worship at church, gotta go!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day all!
I've had a great Valentine's day so far. Got beautiful roses and little love notes all over the house! We're either going caving or spending the weekend IN this weekend-so pretty excited about either. Hope you guys are having fun today!!!
Love you!
I wrote this for Candace cause I miss her so dearly. Love you Candi!
TO my muse:
I still remember the steps to that song,
I smile when I re-watch "Dawson's Creek."
Laughter creeps in when I think of our throng
Skiing along in early mornings' eek.
Your baby talk caught on very quickly,
You should hear us talk when we are alone!
Our friendship grew like a bush that's prickly,
That's really fast, our friendship was just prone.
So I love and miss you dearly, girlie.
Come see me soon, or else it's a swirlie!
IT was fun to write--and it's in iambic pentameter with two quatrains and a couplet! I LOVE ENGLISH!!!!!
Love you!
I wrote this for Candace cause I miss her so dearly. Love you Candi!
TO my muse:
I still remember the steps to that song,
I smile when I re-watch "Dawson's Creek."
Laughter creeps in when I think of our throng
Skiing along in early mornings' eek.
Your baby talk caught on very quickly,
You should hear us talk when we are alone!
Our friendship grew like a bush that's prickly,
That's really fast, our friendship was just prone.
So I love and miss you dearly, girlie.
Come see me soon, or else it's a swirlie!
IT was fun to write--and it's in iambic pentameter with two quatrains and a couplet! I LOVE ENGLISH!!!!!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Do i look the other way?
This is an exert (sp?) from the book I'm (still) reading "Searching for God knows what." I read this part of the book this morning and it REALLY hit me. Tell me what you think about it.
“It must have been unnerving when, to an elitist audience, Jesus later would tell a parable about a man who had been robbed and beaten and then ignored by all but a “good Samaritan.” Jesus was not afraid of controversy, of revealing the worth of those considered worthless. The modern-day equivalent might be a well known evangelist walking into a gay bar and asking if he can buy a guy a drink or telling a story to a group of conservative evangelicals about a pluralist, liberal homosexual who heroically stops to help a stranded traveler after a preacher, a Republican, and a Christian writer have passed him by.”
This is big to me. This should be HUGE to christians today! We surround ourselves with only christians like some elite club that snubs certain groups of people. How many friends in my life are not christians? I am very ashamed of this number, it's VERY low. I want to open up to non-christians, to befriend them like Christ would have, to just accept and love EVERYONE! How in the WORLD can I say that I am trying to portray the love of God and yet NOT love ANY single person in the world???? I MUST get over these stupid, ridiculous barriers I put up between myself and others. I have NO reason to not love any person that I pass by on any certain day. We CANNOT use the argument that we cannot relate to non-christians. We relate to people we have very little in common with every day and never talk about God even if they are christians. Real, relevant relationships should include loyalty, love, communication--this is how we communicate God, but it doesn't have to be to the godly.
“It must have been unnerving when, to an elitist audience, Jesus later would tell a parable about a man who had been robbed and beaten and then ignored by all but a “good Samaritan.” Jesus was not afraid of controversy, of revealing the worth of those considered worthless. The modern-day equivalent might be a well known evangelist walking into a gay bar and asking if he can buy a guy a drink or telling a story to a group of conservative evangelicals about a pluralist, liberal homosexual who heroically stops to help a stranded traveler after a preacher, a Republican, and a Christian writer have passed him by.”
This is big to me. This should be HUGE to christians today! We surround ourselves with only christians like some elite club that snubs certain groups of people. How many friends in my life are not christians? I am very ashamed of this number, it's VERY low. I want to open up to non-christians, to befriend them like Christ would have, to just accept and love EVERYONE! How in the WORLD can I say that I am trying to portray the love of God and yet NOT love ANY single person in the world???? I MUST get over these stupid, ridiculous barriers I put up between myself and others. I have NO reason to not love any person that I pass by on any certain day. We CANNOT use the argument that we cannot relate to non-christians. We relate to people we have very little in common with every day and never talk about God even if they are christians. Real, relevant relationships should include loyalty, love, communication--this is how we communicate God, but it doesn't have to be to the godly.
Friday, February 09, 2007
'On The Pulse Of Morning' : An Inaugural Poem by Maya Angelou
This is the poem Maya Angelou quoted at Bill Clinton's Inauguration. Do you think he lived up to it? I love this poem.
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Marked the mastodon,
The dinosaur, who left dried tokens
Of Their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly,
forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow,
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness
Have lain too long
Facedown in ignorance,
Your mouths spilling words
Armed for slaughter.
The Rock cries out to us today,
You may stand upon me;
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song. It says,
Come, rest here by my side.
Each of you, a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace,
And I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I and the
Tree and the Rock were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The River sang and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing River and the wise Rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew
The African, the Native American, the Sioux
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheik,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the Tree.
They hear the first and last of every Tree
Speak to humankind today.
Come to me,
Here beside the River.
Plant yourself beside the River.
Each of you, descendant of some passed-
On traveler, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name, you,
Pawnee, Apache, Seneca, you
Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then
Forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of
Other seekers -- desperate for gain,
Starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Arab, the Swede,
The German, the Eskimo, the Scot,
The Italian, the Hungarian, the Pole,
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought
Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am that Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.
I, the Rock, I, the River, I, the Tree
I am yours -- your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, but if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes
Upon this day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands,
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For a new beginning.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space
To place new steps of change
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out and upon me,
The Rock, the River, the Tree, you country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
And into your brother's face,
Your country,
And say simply,
Very simply
With hope --
Good morning.
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Marked the mastodon,
The dinosaur, who left dried tokens
Of Their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly,
forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow,
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness
Have lain too long
Facedown in ignorance,
Your mouths spilling words
Armed for slaughter.
The Rock cries out to us today,
You may stand upon me;
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song. It says,
Come, rest here by my side.
Each of you, a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace,
And I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I and the
Tree and the Rock were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The River sang and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing River and the wise Rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew
The African, the Native American, the Sioux
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheik,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the Tree.
They hear the first and last of every Tree
Speak to humankind today.
Come to me,
Here beside the River.
Plant yourself beside the River.
Each of you, descendant of some passed-
On traveler, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name, you,
Pawnee, Apache, Seneca, you
Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then
Forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of
Other seekers -- desperate for gain,
Starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Arab, the Swede,
The German, the Eskimo, the Scot,
The Italian, the Hungarian, the Pole,
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought
Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am that Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.
I, the Rock, I, the River, I, the Tree
I am yours -- your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, but if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes
Upon this day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands,
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For a new beginning.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space
To place new steps of change
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out and upon me,
The Rock, the River, the Tree, you country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
And into your brother's face,
Your country,
And say simply,
Very simply
With hope --
Good morning.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Silence is Sacred
On Saturday mornings, when I get to sleep in, I wake up and just lie in bed listening to whatever thoughts enter my head. I let my mind wonder to movies I've seen recently, conversations that I'm mulling over, TV shows, what I'm going to wear that day, and I slip in and out of daydreams and sleepiness while the sun filters over my body through the window. I used to like to do this when I was a lifeguard too, during my lunch break. I would get in the pool and float with my ears just below the surface, complete silence surrounded me and I could listen to myself talk in my head or enter a dreamworld. Silence is a beautiful thing in our world of constant noise. I found this picture in a gallery at www.hirshhorn.org while browsing through for my Visual Art class. I love it. Find some silence today--listen to yourself, pray, be silent--don't listen to your Ipod, the radio, or turn on the TV. Enjoy the beauty around you--take a break :).
Friday, February 02, 2007
Thoughts on disgust
I had some friends who were talking about seeing a gay couple kissing and how they were disgusted by that, and that bothered me. I'm not disgusted by gay/lesbian couples kissing. And then I wondered, am I, as a Christian, supposed to be disgusted by this? Do I have a right to be disgusted by a gay couple kissing? We think child molestors are disgusting, do we have a right to be disgusted by their actions? Righteous anger at a sin is ok, but do we have the right to be disgusted by the sinner? We are supposed to love the sinner and hate the sin right? So is NOT being disgusted by a gay couple kissing NOT hating the sin?
I feel that I accept gay/lesbiens for who they are as a person, loved by Jesus Christ, like all other beings, and I don't know how I feel about this being disgusted by someone's lifestyle. I feel comfortable around most any lifestyle. I feel my views in the last several years have widened to the point that I am able (though not always willing) to love anyone regardless of who they are or what they do in their personal life. So, although I'm still not sure where I stand concretly on this, I feel like being disgusted by a gay/lesbian couple kissing is not loving people like Jesus would love them. Did he not sit down with the tax collectors? Was he disgusted by THEM? I don't think so.
Thoughts? REALLY want to know what you guys think about this.
I feel that I accept gay/lesbiens for who they are as a person, loved by Jesus Christ, like all other beings, and I don't know how I feel about this being disgusted by someone's lifestyle. I feel comfortable around most any lifestyle. I feel my views in the last several years have widened to the point that I am able (though not always willing) to love anyone regardless of who they are or what they do in their personal life. So, although I'm still not sure where I stand concretly on this, I feel like being disgusted by a gay/lesbian couple kissing is not loving people like Jesus would love them. Did he not sit down with the tax collectors? Was he disgusted by THEM? I don't think so.
Thoughts? REALLY want to know what you guys think about this.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
SNOW!!!!
So, it snowed today. LOTS of snow. I'm at the church right now because we just got done sledding. It's AWESOME! I didn't go to school today, but before you say anything, I DID try. A friend and I left to go to school but turned around two exits later. There was only one lane open on the interstate and it was still snowing really hard. There was ice everywhere and it was NUTS! So, we decided we'd better not try and make it to school--GLAD WE DIDN'T! There were loads of accidents (so I heard) along the road. It is supposed to snow more tonight, we already have 4 or 5 inches here, maybe more. Anyway-I'M SO GLAD IT SNOWED!!! I'm out to go watch movies and do other lazy "snow day" stuff. LUVS!
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