Today I was delivering a parcel, and the lady receiving it said, "You always deliver with a smile." She was trying to clear the end of her drive from snow, because she knew I'd be dropping her parcel off soon, and even helped me reverse safely into the road to get back on my way. It made my day! It made my day because, I actually TRY to deliver every parcel with a smile! I know these are hard, lonely, isolating times, and any kindness or joy we can spread is essential. More people have chatted to me from their doorways than would probably have ever bothered talking before, and it helps me feel less lonely every time they do.
This time last year I was teaching 6-8 yoga sessions a week, looking forward to adding more in the near future. I felt confident about my job, how I was doing it, and my ability to continue. Now I am teaching one class a week via Zoom, and thinking about adding MAYBE two in the near future. I have picked up work from a dear friend, and now work delivering for Hermes part time. I'm still just as passionate about yoga, but I don't have the same confidence I will be able to continue to do it as a job. I don't have the same confidence in my ability to teach, even though I know people keep tuning in once a week.
This past year has sucked away a lot of what I felt was important to me being me. My community--we had to move, and most of the people that lived nearby also had to move to find new jobs. My faith community--we can't go to church, or small groups. My family--by the time I see my family again it will have been 2 years, and my in-laws we have only seen in brief meetings, without seeing cousins or siblings at all.
Chatting to friends about this yesterday, we mentioned how we all feel we are in a holding period, just waiting and waiting to see where we'll end up. After leaving a job and a community that felt so purpose-driven, it can feel hard to work a job that often is pretty much "contactless" and seen as "essential," but feels isolated and lonely. I want to bring my mission to every job I do, even if it isn't what I'd love to be doing at the time.
I heard on BBC radio 4 today, that a man was going to try to do a random act of kindness every day in February--and I wondered what it would be like if that was my every day? So I will keep on smiling as I deliver your parcel, and chatting to your in your doorway, and delivering yoga classes via zoom from my messy living room, and hopefully one day, I'll have the courage to invite you out for a walk (or you could invite me!). I want this year to be focused on being truly kind to others, because just sitting around being sad about what is lost is, well, just all kinds of sad, and sometimes a little kindness can make someone's day.
