Praying for His Spirit

A couple of years ago, and a couple of weeks forward in March, I wrote a blog about how I felt returning from South Africa after working in the orphanage.  I was reminded of that post, called Eustace, today when I was reading in "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan, about how the Spirit works in us.  Chan talks about how it is often a painful process of transformation that we must go through before we become what He wants us to be.  I am also reminded of what I wrote today because of the ministry we were able to interact with in Mexico on our vacation, and the many things I've been reading, and God has been teaching me in the last few weeks.  I feel a yearning to be a soldier for Him, to war against myself, putting my ego, self-esteem, personality traits, useless hungerings at His feet--laying myself down to become nothing of myself and more of Him.  The couple we met in Mexico, Gena and Andrew, run a coffee shop called El Buho (the owl) in a little town called Hidalgo (yes, like the horse movie).  They are missionaries there, the same age as Dave and I, and have just had their first son six months ago.  Their coffee shop ministers mainly to the international climbing scene (as that's why people go to Hidalgo if their not from there), and the money is used to help build Christian schools in the area.  They work in a local church with the youth group as well, plus Gena teaches at the Christian middle school, and they are helping to try and build a local library too!  They inspire me--sparking a hunger Christ has been building in me for some time now--a hunger to step OUT of my comfort zones, to be used greatly and deeply by Him.  I know that the purpose of this hunger is not to make me discontent with my surroundings, but to push me to greater sacrifice of who I am, and what I want with my life, and what exactly that means.  I want to know God's will, regardless of where or to whom it takes me.  Pray that I do exactly that--and stay open to His leadings.