Sorry about the ambiguous first word--you know how I like to play. I'm not expecting...a baby :), nor do I plan on expecting any time in the near future, I'll leave that to my younger siblings.
However, I HAVE been reading 2 Samuel recently, and have been noticing a few things. The part I am reading right now is about when David is slowly becoming king of Israel. Every time David has an issue, a battle or war, or just familial strife, he asks God what he should do. And then he expects an answer. Funnily enough he always gets one! And then I think about myself. How often do I ask God about something, and then actually expect him to answer me? Or for that matter, how often do I actually WAIT patiently, attentively more importantly, for one? I mostly just ask, or tell God what I'm feeling or wanting, and then lean towards whatever feels good to me--like that is God's answer--my feeling. Time and time again I learn concretely that God does not work solely through how I feel--and thank Him for that!
---On a side note----have you ever seen a mustard seed? I have not--and I often wonder how tiny it is and if there is any seed smaller--like how, on a faith scale, my faith compares. I would say it's pretty darn almost invisible to the human eye. And that sucks.
I LOVE my God--but do I believe in him? Do I expect him to come through? Do I WAIT for him, knowing he WILL answer without a shadow of a doubt??? No. I despise that that is the answer, but it's a true one.
I believe God chose me to be his child just as strongly as he chose David to be king of Israel, and yet, I don't act like he cares about me. When my child wants something, I am attentive--I want to help her. My God overabundantly wants to grow me, strengthen me, and help me prosper in Him, and I need to learn to cling to his hand as I unsteadily learn to walk in his way.
"Lord--I know you love me as your child. Help me cling to you, incline my soul to look to you, and listen for your voice."
