Strong, confident, independent, outgoing, talkative, energetic, sarcastic, fun-loving. I am...daughter, mother, sister, wife, cousin, granddaughter, friend. I am... It's easy to start answering that with the positives isn't it? Well, I'm confident, so I'll say yes ;). But if I want to go the other direction, though not as fun, it's still pretty easy. I am...often angry, a yeller, frazzled, impatient, ungracious, expecting more from others than I'm willing to give myself. If I had to pick one that I feel has defined me for quite a portion of my life, maybe even most of it, I would say, "yeller." I yell. And in that moment, I feel powerful. But in the next, I feel deep regret, to see the pain I've inflicted, pain that I cannot reverse, but only offer apologies for, try to mend.
As I was reading this morning, several verses stuck out to me. I've gotten in the habit of reading a bit in the Old Testament, and some in the New, when I do at all that is. In Psalms 9:20 it says, "Let the nations know that they are but men!" Ah, how relevant that is on a daily basis. I am just "man!" I cannot change things outside my power--I cannot bend time back and regain those minutes to do something more, or take back something that has been said, or change the weather to suit my needs, or heal a wound instantaneously (although kisses seem to work miracles on wee "boo boos"). I am but woman, do what woman can do. Then I flipped (and by flipped I mean tapped as I read mostly on my iphone) to Romans 6:12, 14, & 16-17,"Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions...For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace...Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey...But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed." And here's what I got from that. I am a woman, and can do what only woman can. But I am a woman who has committed my life to Christ, have become a slave to Him, and therefore I DO NOT, I CANNOT be a slave to sin, if I am obedient to Christ.
You know I have heard that verse about not being a slave to two masters all my life, and I have always put weight on myself with it--just be better, you have to choose always the good. That's exhausting! But that's not what it's saying. It's saying--you were chosen, and you chose Christ yourself as well! Now you don't have to listen to that voice that says, "I must control it all! I must yell and storm and rage and exert my reign!!!" I don't have to--He will do it. I just have to sit, and let Him!
Well, at THIS moment I must let him, as my toddler is banging on her door (she's supposed to wait on me in her bed). I'm going to go get her, and hopefully bring her out to my lap, love on her, and pray for our family with her. Thanks for letting me share with you today!
ps--the snow has pretty much stopped, but the rain and wind is whipping itself into a frenzy! So there's ice, and a little less snow now. Hoping the roads are clear on Saturday so I can go to Perth for thrift shopping day!!!
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Snow Mom
I am sitting quietly in my living room, trying not to make enough noise to wake my toddler from her nap, as getting her to sleep today was an all-out battle. Apparently she's "still a baby" and does not want a new toddler bed, but prefers to stay in her crib/cot. Who knew. I think I should have made a front-loading plan for this like potty training. Oops. Now I've got to hard-ball it. Other than that it's a beautiful day out.
It's been snowing for a little over two days now. I haven't seen this much snow accumulation since I was a 20 year old living in Canada as an intern. There are feet of snow--British feet or U.S. feet it doesn't matter, there's both. Our cars have slowly disappeared. Fiona's little legs can't quite walk in the snow, and she doesn't really like being pulled in the sled because she keeps falling out face first. Thankfully the powder is very soft, and she doesn't mind too much. Her favourite thing to do is eat it. "We" made a snowgirl today--putting pine bows as her pigtails. Fi put on the arms and collected pebbles for the face and buttons. She was quite excited about putting on the carrot nose we begged from the centre kitchen.
Last night we made snow cream, which doesn't seem to be a thing here--no one has ever heard of making ice cream from snow. My Daddy use to make it any time we had a big snow as a kid, and I'm continuing that tradition. We even put sprinkles on top, and had it before dinner--dessert first! It's snowing again as I type; if this keeps up we are gonna run out of some essentials. I think I might be able to barter some milk from the centre, and we have enough frozen food to last a few more days, so we'll be fine. Thankfully Dave is all about making bread in the bread machine, we have two different homemade types right now. We will run out of fruit and fresh vegetables after today, but we have pizza, mac-n-cheese (which I brought back from the States), and hotdogs, so junk food it is! We also have gin, which is important, and some wine. So we're stocked!
Even though it's been snowing for a few days, Fiona still says, "It's snowing!!! Look Mommy it's snowing!" every time it picks up again. The dogs disappear in the drifts, and like it, except they would prefer grass to pee on. I'm worried I'm going to loose them--white dogs, white snow--what could go wrong?
Well, I thought I would write today, because I haven't in a long time, and thought maybe something profound would come out, but that was pretty much a journal entry. Well there ya go--a window into my soul ;). I really should start the fire now as my nose is getting cold even though I'm wrapped in a big fuzzy fleece. I wonder what the sheep are doing?
ps--I may participating in a Women's Rural olympics next week--apparently it consists of throwing beanbags in holes and seeing how many goals you can get with a soccer ball/football and the like--and we usually have the youngest team (aka some women in their 30's as opposed to 50's & up!). Should be "good crack" as the Irish say ;)
It's been snowing for a little over two days now. I haven't seen this much snow accumulation since I was a 20 year old living in Canada as an intern. There are feet of snow--British feet or U.S. feet it doesn't matter, there's both. Our cars have slowly disappeared. Fiona's little legs can't quite walk in the snow, and she doesn't really like being pulled in the sled because she keeps falling out face first. Thankfully the powder is very soft, and she doesn't mind too much. Her favourite thing to do is eat it. "We" made a snowgirl today--putting pine bows as her pigtails. Fi put on the arms and collected pebbles for the face and buttons. She was quite excited about putting on the carrot nose we begged from the centre kitchen.
Last night we made snow cream, which doesn't seem to be a thing here--no one has ever heard of making ice cream from snow. My Daddy use to make it any time we had a big snow as a kid, and I'm continuing that tradition. We even put sprinkles on top, and had it before dinner--dessert first! It's snowing again as I type; if this keeps up we are gonna run out of some essentials. I think I might be able to barter some milk from the centre, and we have enough frozen food to last a few more days, so we'll be fine. Thankfully Dave is all about making bread in the bread machine, we have two different homemade types right now. We will run out of fruit and fresh vegetables after today, but we have pizza, mac-n-cheese (which I brought back from the States), and hotdogs, so junk food it is! We also have gin, which is important, and some wine. So we're stocked!
Even though it's been snowing for a few days, Fiona still says, "It's snowing!!! Look Mommy it's snowing!" every time it picks up again. The dogs disappear in the drifts, and like it, except they would prefer grass to pee on. I'm worried I'm going to loose them--white dogs, white snow--what could go wrong?
Well, I thought I would write today, because I haven't in a long time, and thought maybe something profound would come out, but that was pretty much a journal entry. Well there ya go--a window into my soul ;). I really should start the fire now as my nose is getting cold even though I'm wrapped in a big fuzzy fleece. I wonder what the sheep are doing?
ps--I may participating in a Women's Rural olympics next week--apparently it consists of throwing beanbags in holes and seeing how many goals you can get with a soccer ball/football and the like--and we usually have the youngest team (aka some women in their 30's as opposed to 50's & up!). Should be "good crack" as the Irish say ;)
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