"Searching for God knows what"--"I wondered if the Christian faith in America had not been hijacked as well, hijacked by those same two issues: abortion and gay marriage. How did a spirituality such aas Christianity, a spirtiuality that speaks of eternity, of a worldwithout end, of forgiveness of sins and a mysterious union with the Godhead, come to be represented by a moralist agenda and a trickle-down economic theory? And more important, how di a man born of Eastern descent, a man whocalled Himstelf the Prince of Peace, a man whom the sacred writings describe eating with prostitutes and providing wine at weddings and healing the sick and ingnoring any political plot, a man who wants us to turn the other cheek and give all our possessions if we are sued, become associated with--no, become the poster boy for--a Western moral and fianacial agenda communicated through the rhetoric of war and ignorant of the damage it is causing to a world living in poverty?
My only answer is that Satan is crafty indeed."
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Ponderings
book-Searching for God Knows What--"Some of us are athletes and others of us are physicists, and some of us are good-looking and some of us are rich, and we all are running around, in a way, trying to get a b unch of people to clap for us, trying to get a bunch of people to say we are normal, we are healthy, we are good. And there is nothing wrong with being beautiful or being athletic or being smart, but those are some of the pleasure of life, not life's redemption....[he imagines Jesus is saying] Look, you guys are running around like monkeys trying to get people to clap, but people are fallen, they are separated from God, so they hae no idea what is good or bad, worhty to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly to begin with. Why not get your glory from God? Why not accept your feelings of redemption because of His pleasure in you, not the fickle and empty favor of man? And only then will you know who you are, and only then will you have true uninhibited relationships with others."
Dave and I were talking about this the other night. We were discussing how we get our worth from people around us-boyfriends, husbands, friends, parents, siblings--but they will never be able to fill us completely-they will never be able to be everything we need to feel we are something of worth. We will never feel completely filled by people. It isn't wrong to want to be considered worthy by people, but it is a degraded source. I said to Dave, "Trying to be filled by people is a secondary source. It's like saying you are completely filled up from dessert AFTER eating dinner. Dinner is what filled you up--IT was the main course-the main substance, not dessert. God is the main course. We will never be able to be fully filled by dessert, by people." God, in the garden was everything to Adam. Adam didn't need Eve because he didn't feel worthy enough as a human being, he needed Eve because he was lonely, not worthless. Only AFTER the fall did we, as humans, feel we need human adoration. God wasn't there to tell us we were everything he created us to be, so we looked elsewhere, to an imperfect human, someone of our equal, to tell us how special we are. I can't get off this topic--it is amazing to me. We see people every day at the mall, trying so hard to be everything people want them to be, but people's desires change, fads change. God never changes.
Dave and I were talking about this the other night. We were discussing how we get our worth from people around us-boyfriends, husbands, friends, parents, siblings--but they will never be able to fill us completely-they will never be able to be everything we need to feel we are something of worth. We will never feel completely filled by people. It isn't wrong to want to be considered worthy by people, but it is a degraded source. I said to Dave, "Trying to be filled by people is a secondary source. It's like saying you are completely filled up from dessert AFTER eating dinner. Dinner is what filled you up--IT was the main course-the main substance, not dessert. God is the main course. We will never be able to be fully filled by dessert, by people." God, in the garden was everything to Adam. Adam didn't need Eve because he didn't feel worthy enough as a human being, he needed Eve because he was lonely, not worthless. Only AFTER the fall did we, as humans, feel we need human adoration. God wasn't there to tell us we were everything he created us to be, so we looked elsewhere, to an imperfect human, someone of our equal, to tell us how special we are. I can't get off this topic--it is amazing to me. We see people every day at the mall, trying so hard to be everything people want them to be, but people's desires change, fads change. God never changes.
Monday, February 19, 2007
All Gone
Well-the snow came and went pretty quickly, but it was pretty while it lasted. I LOVE waking up to several inches of snow. Anyway-I just wanted to post this absolutely ADORABLE picture of Dave :). Oh-for my real Valentine's present Dave made me a love letter box and wrote me a letter inside it to say-this box is a promise to say I will fill this box. I'll post the letter later--it was so beautiful it made me start crying instantly. I'm off now-I'm supposed to be watching the original "King Kong"--VERY glad it's not as long as the new one. Ta ta!
P.S. Tomorrow I'm off to go snowboarding with my family---SOOOO excited about that. Haven't seen them since Christmas and I haven't been snowboarding in 3 years!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know that teaching test I took about a month ago called the Praxis and thought I had failed---well--I PASSED! I'm SO excited, relieved, and exstatic! Thanks for all the prayers!
Also--It snowed several inches here last night- LOVE IT! Snow is beautiful!
Well--getting ready to help lead praise worship at church, gotta go!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day all!
I've had a great Valentine's day so far. Got beautiful roses and little love notes all over the house! We're either going caving or spending the weekend IN this weekend-so pretty excited about either. Hope you guys are having fun today!!!
Love you!
I wrote this for Candace cause I miss her so dearly. Love you Candi!
TO my muse:
I still remember the steps to that song,
I smile when I re-watch "Dawson's Creek."
Laughter creeps in when I think of our throng
Skiing along in early mornings' eek.
Your baby talk caught on very quickly,
You should hear us talk when we are alone!
Our friendship grew like a bush that's prickly,
That's really fast, our friendship was just prone.
So I love and miss you dearly, girlie.
Come see me soon, or else it's a swirlie!
IT was fun to write--and it's in iambic pentameter with two quatrains and a couplet! I LOVE ENGLISH!!!!!
Love you!
I wrote this for Candace cause I miss her so dearly. Love you Candi!
TO my muse:
I still remember the steps to that song,
I smile when I re-watch "Dawson's Creek."
Laughter creeps in when I think of our throng
Skiing along in early mornings' eek.
Your baby talk caught on very quickly,
You should hear us talk when we are alone!
Our friendship grew like a bush that's prickly,
That's really fast, our friendship was just prone.
So I love and miss you dearly, girlie.
Come see me soon, or else it's a swirlie!
IT was fun to write--and it's in iambic pentameter with two quatrains and a couplet! I LOVE ENGLISH!!!!!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Do i look the other way?
This is an exert (sp?) from the book I'm (still) reading "Searching for God knows what." I read this part of the book this morning and it REALLY hit me. Tell me what you think about it.
“It must have been unnerving when, to an elitist audience, Jesus later would tell a parable about a man who had been robbed and beaten and then ignored by all but a “good Samaritan.” Jesus was not afraid of controversy, of revealing the worth of those considered worthless. The modern-day equivalent might be a well known evangelist walking into a gay bar and asking if he can buy a guy a drink or telling a story to a group of conservative evangelicals about a pluralist, liberal homosexual who heroically stops to help a stranded traveler after a preacher, a Republican, and a Christian writer have passed him by.”
This is big to me. This should be HUGE to christians today! We surround ourselves with only christians like some elite club that snubs certain groups of people. How many friends in my life are not christians? I am very ashamed of this number, it's VERY low. I want to open up to non-christians, to befriend them like Christ would have, to just accept and love EVERYONE! How in the WORLD can I say that I am trying to portray the love of God and yet NOT love ANY single person in the world???? I MUST get over these stupid, ridiculous barriers I put up between myself and others. I have NO reason to not love any person that I pass by on any certain day. We CANNOT use the argument that we cannot relate to non-christians. We relate to people we have very little in common with every day and never talk about God even if they are christians. Real, relevant relationships should include loyalty, love, communication--this is how we communicate God, but it doesn't have to be to the godly.
“It must have been unnerving when, to an elitist audience, Jesus later would tell a parable about a man who had been robbed and beaten and then ignored by all but a “good Samaritan.” Jesus was not afraid of controversy, of revealing the worth of those considered worthless. The modern-day equivalent might be a well known evangelist walking into a gay bar and asking if he can buy a guy a drink or telling a story to a group of conservative evangelicals about a pluralist, liberal homosexual who heroically stops to help a stranded traveler after a preacher, a Republican, and a Christian writer have passed him by.”
This is big to me. This should be HUGE to christians today! We surround ourselves with only christians like some elite club that snubs certain groups of people. How many friends in my life are not christians? I am very ashamed of this number, it's VERY low. I want to open up to non-christians, to befriend them like Christ would have, to just accept and love EVERYONE! How in the WORLD can I say that I am trying to portray the love of God and yet NOT love ANY single person in the world???? I MUST get over these stupid, ridiculous barriers I put up between myself and others. I have NO reason to not love any person that I pass by on any certain day. We CANNOT use the argument that we cannot relate to non-christians. We relate to people we have very little in common with every day and never talk about God even if they are christians. Real, relevant relationships should include loyalty, love, communication--this is how we communicate God, but it doesn't have to be to the godly.
Friday, February 09, 2007
'On The Pulse Of Morning' : An Inaugural Poem by Maya Angelou
This is the poem Maya Angelou quoted at Bill Clinton's Inauguration. Do you think he lived up to it? I love this poem.
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Marked the mastodon,
The dinosaur, who left dried tokens
Of Their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly,
forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow,
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness
Have lain too long
Facedown in ignorance,
Your mouths spilling words
Armed for slaughter.
The Rock cries out to us today,
You may stand upon me;
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song. It says,
Come, rest here by my side.
Each of you, a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace,
And I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I and the
Tree and the Rock were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The River sang and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing River and the wise Rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew
The African, the Native American, the Sioux
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheik,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the Tree.
They hear the first and last of every Tree
Speak to humankind today.
Come to me,
Here beside the River.
Plant yourself beside the River.
Each of you, descendant of some passed-
On traveler, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name, you,
Pawnee, Apache, Seneca, you
Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then
Forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of
Other seekers -- desperate for gain,
Starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Arab, the Swede,
The German, the Eskimo, the Scot,
The Italian, the Hungarian, the Pole,
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought
Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am that Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.
I, the Rock, I, the River, I, the Tree
I am yours -- your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, but if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes
Upon this day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands,
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For a new beginning.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space
To place new steps of change
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out and upon me,
The Rock, the River, the Tree, you country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
And into your brother's face,
Your country,
And say simply,
Very simply
With hope --
Good morning.
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Marked the mastodon,
The dinosaur, who left dried tokens
Of Their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly,
forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow,
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness
Have lain too long
Facedown in ignorance,
Your mouths spilling words
Armed for slaughter.
The Rock cries out to us today,
You may stand upon me;
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A River sings a beautiful song. It says,
Come, rest here by my side.
Each of you, a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace,
And I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I and the
Tree and the Rock were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The River sang and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing River and the wise Rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew
The African, the Native American, the Sioux
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheik,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the Teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the Tree.
They hear the first and last of every Tree
Speak to humankind today.
Come to me,
Here beside the River.
Plant yourself beside the River.
Each of you, descendant of some passed-
On traveler, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name, you,
Pawnee, Apache, Seneca, you
Cherokee Nation, who rested with me, then
Forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of
Other seekers -- desperate for gain,
Starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Arab, the Swede,
The German, the Eskimo, the Scot,
The Italian, the Hungarian, the Pole,
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru, bought
Sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am that Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.
I, the Rock, I, the River, I, the Tree
I am yours -- your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, but if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes
Upon this day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands,
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts
Each new hour holds new chances
For a new beginning.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space
To place new steps of change
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out and upon me,
The Rock, the River, the Tree, you country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
And into your brother's face,
Your country,
And say simply,
Very simply
With hope --
Good morning.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Silence is Sacred
On Saturday mornings, when I get to sleep in, I wake up and just lie in bed listening to whatever thoughts enter my head. I let my mind wonder to movies I've seen recently, conversations that I'm mulling over, TV shows, what I'm going to wear that day, and I slip in and out of daydreams and sleepiness while the sun filters over my body through the window. I used to like to do this when I was a lifeguard too, during my lunch break. I would get in the pool and float with my ears just below the surface, complete silence surrounded me and I could listen to myself talk in my head or enter a dreamworld. Silence is a beautiful thing in our world of constant noise. I found this picture in a gallery at www.hirshhorn.org while browsing through for my Visual Art class. I love it. Find some silence today--listen to yourself, pray, be silent--don't listen to your Ipod, the radio, or turn on the TV. Enjoy the beauty around you--take a break :).
Friday, February 02, 2007
Thoughts on disgust
I had some friends who were talking about seeing a gay couple kissing and how they were disgusted by that, and that bothered me. I'm not disgusted by gay/lesbian couples kissing. And then I wondered, am I, as a Christian, supposed to be disgusted by this? Do I have a right to be disgusted by a gay couple kissing? We think child molestors are disgusting, do we have a right to be disgusted by their actions? Righteous anger at a sin is ok, but do we have the right to be disgusted by the sinner? We are supposed to love the sinner and hate the sin right? So is NOT being disgusted by a gay couple kissing NOT hating the sin?
I feel that I accept gay/lesbiens for who they are as a person, loved by Jesus Christ, like all other beings, and I don't know how I feel about this being disgusted by someone's lifestyle. I feel comfortable around most any lifestyle. I feel my views in the last several years have widened to the point that I am able (though not always willing) to love anyone regardless of who they are or what they do in their personal life. So, although I'm still not sure where I stand concretly on this, I feel like being disgusted by a gay/lesbian couple kissing is not loving people like Jesus would love them. Did he not sit down with the tax collectors? Was he disgusted by THEM? I don't think so.
Thoughts? REALLY want to know what you guys think about this.
I feel that I accept gay/lesbiens for who they are as a person, loved by Jesus Christ, like all other beings, and I don't know how I feel about this being disgusted by someone's lifestyle. I feel comfortable around most any lifestyle. I feel my views in the last several years have widened to the point that I am able (though not always willing) to love anyone regardless of who they are or what they do in their personal life. So, although I'm still not sure where I stand concretly on this, I feel like being disgusted by a gay/lesbian couple kissing is not loving people like Jesus would love them. Did he not sit down with the tax collectors? Was he disgusted by THEM? I don't think so.
Thoughts? REALLY want to know what you guys think about this.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
SNOW!!!!
So, it snowed today. LOTS of snow. I'm at the church right now because we just got done sledding. It's AWESOME! I didn't go to school today, but before you say anything, I DID try. A friend and I left to go to school but turned around two exits later. There was only one lane open on the interstate and it was still snowing really hard. There was ice everywhere and it was NUTS! So, we decided we'd better not try and make it to school--GLAD WE DIDN'T! There were loads of accidents (so I heard) along the road. It is supposed to snow more tonight, we already have 4 or 5 inches here, maybe more. Anyway-I'M SO GLAD IT SNOWED!!! I'm out to go watch movies and do other lazy "snow day" stuff. LUVS!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Argh
IT's snowing everywhere else around us, but NOT here. Dave and his friends almost got snowed in in TN. Our friends DID get snowed in in Asheville (only an hour away) and do we get ANY snow here???? Yeah, about 5 flakes total. It's freezing but NO SNOW! That's all I have to say about that.
This is going to be a busy week for me. Dave and I won't have a night alone until Friday (hopefully we'll get Friday). I have something either at school or at church every night--ugh. Gotta jet-gotta grap dinner and then head to my film class--toodles!
P.S. Dave and were in Asheville on Saturday and went to Barnes & Nobles. Oh I love that place. I immediately found 3 books I wanted. I orded one off of Ebay, but I keep telling myself that I'm not allowed to buy the other ones yet--but I really want to! One is: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: Forever in Blue (i know, lil girl book, but I read the 1st 3 so I really want to read the last one) and the other is: Round Ireland with a Fridge (which is a travel book about-you guessed it, a guy traveling round Ireland with a fridge-Dave and I want to read it together). Anyway-that's my book fav's for the moment...that is, until the 7th Harry Potter book comes out this year!!! Woot woot! :)--k-I'm REALLY off this time.
This is going to be a busy week for me. Dave and I won't have a night alone until Friday (hopefully we'll get Friday). I have something either at school or at church every night--ugh. Gotta jet-gotta grap dinner and then head to my film class--toodles!
P.S. Dave and were in Asheville on Saturday and went to Barnes & Nobles. Oh I love that place. I immediately found 3 books I wanted. I orded one off of Ebay, but I keep telling myself that I'm not allowed to buy the other ones yet--but I really want to! One is: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: Forever in Blue (i know, lil girl book, but I read the 1st 3 so I really want to read the last one) and the other is: Round Ireland with a Fridge (which is a travel book about-you guessed it, a guy traveling round Ireland with a fridge-Dave and I want to read it together). Anyway-that's my book fav's for the moment...that is, until the 7th Harry Potter book comes out this year!!! Woot woot! :)--k-I'm REALLY off this time.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Bizarre
So, I had this dream last night. I dreamed that I was pregnant with 5 babies--but they weren't quintupets. The nurse was all upset with me that I was pregnant with so many babies and I yelled at her that it wasn't my fault, I had been on birthcontrol the whole time! The doctor told the nurse, yes, that was likely, as birthcontrol had a 3% failure rate.
I had the babies all on one day, yet some of them were several years old by the time I had the last one. Before the last one was born, I insisted that the nurse that had yelled at me be replaced with another one and that I wasn't going to push until she was replaced. The blond girl from Grey's Anatomy replaced the mean nurse. I was 11 1/2 inches dilated when I started having my last baby (it practically fell out of my womb-as would be expected if one could dialate 11 1/2 inches-or can they?).
I had 3 girls and 2 boys. The last baby was a boy. However, my son, the last baby, died soon after birth. I remember that the mean nurse blamed me for the last baby dying. She felt that it was my fault cause I was pregnant with some many babies at one time and that I shouldn't have done that (like one can PREVENT having multiple babies or something).
WEIRD--I'm really hoping I NEVER get pregnat with that many babies at a time-and actually I don't want that many kids period, so I'm hoping I don't get pregnant with that many kids TOTAL.
Right. I'm going to start writing my paper now. I've procrastinated enough. Maybe I'll amuse you with another disturbing dream tomorrow! But hopefully it won't be about me being pregnant, cause I really don't want to start thinking this is a sign that I'm going to get pregnant soon.
Luvs!
I had the babies all on one day, yet some of them were several years old by the time I had the last one. Before the last one was born, I insisted that the nurse that had yelled at me be replaced with another one and that I wasn't going to push until she was replaced. The blond girl from Grey's Anatomy replaced the mean nurse. I was 11 1/2 inches dilated when I started having my last baby (it practically fell out of my womb-as would be expected if one could dialate 11 1/2 inches-or can they?).
I had 3 girls and 2 boys. The last baby was a boy. However, my son, the last baby, died soon after birth. I remember that the mean nurse blamed me for the last baby dying. She felt that it was my fault cause I was pregnant with some many babies at one time and that I shouldn't have done that (like one can PREVENT having multiple babies or something).
WEIRD--I'm really hoping I NEVER get pregnat with that many babies at a time-and actually I don't want that many kids period, so I'm hoping I don't get pregnant with that many kids TOTAL.
Right. I'm going to start writing my paper now. I've procrastinated enough. Maybe I'll amuse you with another disturbing dream tomorrow! But hopefully it won't be about me being pregnant, cause I really don't want to start thinking this is a sign that I'm going to get pregnant soon.
Luvs!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
New Book
Today I started reading a new book during my devotions. Donald Miller's "Searching for God know's what." I just wanted to share my journal entree with you today after I read the first chapter of that book.
My search for the perfect relationship with God has always been step based. Step 1: Read Bible daily. Step 2: Pray continuously. Step 3: Listen to His guiding 'words'. If I do this I achieve the optimum God relationship. But what about the seeking part? And how many times have I finished reading my Bible and then wondered what I had just read? It's like letting your mind wander throughout the entire sermon on Sunday morning and snapping out of it during the last prayer. Can you still say you were at church? Can I still smile, puff out my chest, tick the little box on my day planner that says "Quiet Time" and say I sought to know God better today?
I want to seek Him through whatever means necessary. Saying I can find God in those 3 steps could happen--but like Miller says, God is not a formula or a genie. He does not turn into our best friend if we tap our head and rub our stomach at the same time. He works in the lives of his children in new ways every day--I can expect to put God into the "formula" box and therefore undersstand God's workings in my life and the lives of others.
Goal-to seek Him today in a new way-through people, song, dance-always seeking th relationship with Him and not the "wishes" I want to come true
Prayer-Lead me, in new ways, to worship You each day.
My search for the perfect relationship with God has always been step based. Step 1: Read Bible daily. Step 2: Pray continuously. Step 3: Listen to His guiding 'words'. If I do this I achieve the optimum God relationship. But what about the seeking part? And how many times have I finished reading my Bible and then wondered what I had just read? It's like letting your mind wander throughout the entire sermon on Sunday morning and snapping out of it during the last prayer. Can you still say you were at church? Can I still smile, puff out my chest, tick the little box on my day planner that says "Quiet Time" and say I sought to know God better today?
I want to seek Him through whatever means necessary. Saying I can find God in those 3 steps could happen--but like Miller says, God is not a formula or a genie. He does not turn into our best friend if we tap our head and rub our stomach at the same time. He works in the lives of his children in new ways every day--I can expect to put God into the "formula" box and therefore undersstand God's workings in my life and the lives of others.
Goal-to seek Him today in a new way-through people, song, dance-always seeking th relationship with Him and not the "wishes" I want to come true
Prayer-Lead me, in new ways, to worship You each day.
Monday, January 15, 2007
What do YOU think?
The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation. My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.
He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"
"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." he replied.
"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."
Our son giggled and said "OK."
"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.
"OK Dad, I'm pretending."
"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"
"Dad?"
" What do you do son?"
"I'd call the police, Dad."
"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"
"Dad.......... But the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.
"They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.
"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.
"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."
"Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes son, he does. What do you do?"
"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says.
"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.
"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"
"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.
"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?"
"What Daddy?"
"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Daddy..."
"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy."
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him. "Why?"
"Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them...and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to
HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says...
"Son"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Open the blinds because that man.... he's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: " I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"
I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... “It’s too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before it’s too late." my husband whispers. THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen son THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. "YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."
This should be printed in every newspaper and posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen so we'll use the Internet. If your blinds are closed do nothing with this email. If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do.
He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"
"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." he replied.
"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush."
Our son giggled and said "OK."
"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.
"OK Dad, I'm pretending."
"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father. You see all of this, son....what do you do?"
"Dad?"
" What do you do son?"
"I'd call the police, Dad."
"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call. They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?"
"Dad.......... But the police are supposed to help!" My son starts to whine.
"They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.
"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.
"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."
"Daddy...he kills them?"
"Yes son, he does. What do you do?"
"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says.
"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.
"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"
"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.
"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?"
"What Daddy?"
"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"
"Daddy..."
"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, "I'd close the blinds, Daddy."
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him. "Why?"
"Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them...and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to
HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."
I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says...
"Son"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Open the blinds because that man.... he's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: " I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"
I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... “It’s too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way. You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before it’s too late." my husband whispers. THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen son THAT is the greatest atrocity in the world. "YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."
This should be printed in every newspaper and posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen so we'll use the Internet. If your blinds are closed do nothing with this email. If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Dread the next 4 weeks
I finally took my Praxis teacher test today, since last time i got sick and couldn't go. I just got done. I really have no clue how i did-i ran out of time and ...i just don't want to think about it. there nothing i can do now anyway. if i failed it ill just have to take it again---PRAY that i passed.
peace out-i headin to Asheville for the rest of the day to chill w/ my friend Tim.
luvs!
peace out-i headin to Asheville for the rest of the day to chill w/ my friend Tim.
luvs!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Back on track
It's snowing outside!!!! It's been coming down since I left for school this morning at 9:45! It's not really sticking though since it's above freezing at the moment. The snow isn't supposed to stop all night though-so maybe we'll have enough to sled on by tomorrow morning (keeping my fingers crossed).
I'm back at school now-currently taking 5 classes and in high hopes to add another one to it as of this afternoon. I have to say though, this is NOT my favorite semester so far. I have AT LEAST 2 classes I already don't enjoy and another is a probability. But, the english classes I'm taking are really good--and that's 3 of them. I'm taking Intro to Art (which I'm thinking isn't going to enlighten me very much--our teacher seems to be a bit of a slacker) and Intro to Film Studies (which orginally I thought would be fun, but I found out loads of the movies we have to watch are probably going to be quite offensive to me). So, that's my schedule so far.
I'm still looking for a part time job-on or off campus at the moment-so hopefully that will pan out. It seems like Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be really long days for me as I'll have classes from 11 to 5 (straight through w/ no breaks). Plus-I used to go to Mountain Perks and have coffee and see Sophie every Thursday, but since the coffee shop closes at 5 every day I'm not going to be able to do that--that is VERY sad. I'll miss those visits-but I might be able to work going in the morning every once in awhile-before school.
Well-I'm outta here, I have one more class (the one I'm trying to get into) so I'm gonna start walking. It's great to be back and see all our friends. Sarah got everyone together Sunday night as a 'Welcome Back' party for us--it was REALLY sweet and we had a blast. Luvs!
I'm back at school now-currently taking 5 classes and in high hopes to add another one to it as of this afternoon. I have to say though, this is NOT my favorite semester so far. I have AT LEAST 2 classes I already don't enjoy and another is a probability. But, the english classes I'm taking are really good--and that's 3 of them. I'm taking Intro to Art (which I'm thinking isn't going to enlighten me very much--our teacher seems to be a bit of a slacker) and Intro to Film Studies (which orginally I thought would be fun, but I found out loads of the movies we have to watch are probably going to be quite offensive to me). So, that's my schedule so far.
I'm still looking for a part time job-on or off campus at the moment-so hopefully that will pan out. It seems like Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be really long days for me as I'll have classes from 11 to 5 (straight through w/ no breaks). Plus-I used to go to Mountain Perks and have coffee and see Sophie every Thursday, but since the coffee shop closes at 5 every day I'm not going to be able to do that--that is VERY sad. I'll miss those visits-but I might be able to work going in the morning every once in awhile-before school.
Well-I'm outta here, I have one more class (the one I'm trying to get into) so I'm gonna start walking. It's great to be back and see all our friends. Sarah got everyone together Sunday night as a 'Welcome Back' party for us--it was REALLY sweet and we had a blast. Luvs!
Friday, January 05, 2007
Homeward
Well-today we're heading towards home. I say "towards" because we're stoping over in London for the night and then heading out early the next morning for Charlotte. The rest of the pictures from Belfast will go up today for you all to see. We've had an amazing visit here and gotten to see so many sights and spend quality time with Dave's friends and family. We'll be sad to go, but, if you can believe it, Dave misses work and I am actually looking forward to my new set of classes for the Spring semester at WCU.
We will be arriving back in Charlotte for Saturday evening and we'll spend the night at my parent's house. Then we'll head back to Bryson City on Sunday. We miss our B.C. family! I'm looking forward to getting back into Grey's Anatomy and the NEW season of Survivor watching w/ Sarah and Lydia. We've also REALLY REALLY missed our small group and church--can't wait to get back to those things. Plus, it'll be nice to get back to some decent weather as well, lol. No offense to the Irish-but rain 90% of the time and sun 10% (and that's being optimistic) is really depressing--or at least does not suit me. Well-WE'LL SEE YOU BACK IN THE STATES SOON! Love you guys!
We will be arriving back in Charlotte for Saturday evening and we'll spend the night at my parent's house. Then we'll head back to Bryson City on Sunday. We miss our B.C. family! I'm looking forward to getting back into Grey's Anatomy and the NEW season of Survivor watching w/ Sarah and Lydia. We've also REALLY REALLY missed our small group and church--can't wait to get back to those things. Plus, it'll be nice to get back to some decent weather as well, lol. No offense to the Irish-but rain 90% of the time and sun 10% (and that's being optimistic) is really depressing--or at least does not suit me. Well-WE'LL SEE YOU BACK IN THE STATES SOON! Love you guys!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Mourne Moutain hike pictures
This started out ot be a great hike-beautiful weather-but ended in snow, sleet, and then bucket loads of rain, drenching us to the bone. However, we got some great pictures and it was great exercise!
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