the big news...

Some of you may have heard a rumor...or a leak of some interesting information regarding our future abode. A while back Dave was laid off from his state job working with adjudicated youth, and he started putting in applications all over the U.S. for camp jobs. He then started getting a few nibbles here and there; a few phone interviews. After awhile there was a pretty big offer--he was flown out to California to view a camp and interact with the staff there that he had had phone interviews with. A few days later they offered him a job, and a few days after that....he accepted! So, we are moving out to Lake Hughes, California. Actually, Dave is moving in just a few weeks--he has to start staff training, as in training his staff, on the 19th. I will be staying in WNC until the school year is over, and roadtriping out there the last week in June with (hopefully) Shannon and Bethany! It's a quick move--and pretty crazy at the moment, but things seem to be falling in place! I think we found a property manager for our duplex, so we can keep renting it out. I have already put in a few applications there--nothing yet--but i'm hopeful it will work out. Anyway--that's the news--if you want to know specifics about Dave's job, FB him! :)

boys...and girls :)

I sat in the classroom after my students finished up testing--hoping to be able to keep them quiet for the other classes benefits. How EXACTLY do you keep 20 thirteen and fourteen years olds in a very small room quiet??? Well--i told them they COULD NOT talk, but they could sit side-by-side and pass notes. This obviously led to whispering, but as long as I told them they couldn't talk, it stayed like that--since they already felt like rebels by breaking the rules for not talking :). I hate being so hard on them--especially because i want to love on them all the time, cause most of the time i think they are hilarious and i just have to be a hard-ass and not laugh--when i really feel like it! I love the times when i can cut up with them, when we have free time and i can get to know them better, and see what's REALLY going on in their lives. Of course some days I feel like I want to wring their little necks, but mostly--these days--i want to hug them--but i don't cause that's not allowed :). This first year teaching has been one roller coaster after another. The first part of the year was terribly hard, but now it gets easier every day. About halfway through the year i wasn't sure if i wanted to teach next year, if teaching was really my calling, but now I know it is. Middle schoolers are a rough bunch for sure, but they are "pretty cool" after all, don't tell THEM i said that of course.

Dear Graduate......

Dear Graduate:
You are about to embark on a journey of a lifetime! The world is your oyster, and you are....the fisherman? I'm not really sure where they are going with that metaphor, but it is said quite often isn't it? And what IS this about this journey you are about to embark on--this adventure, I mean, what HAVE you been doing for the last twenty-two years of your life anyway---waiting in line? Or possibly a queue if you're British. I say--you've already had several, if not many many adventures, now they will just be on your own dime. Anyway, to all of your graduates out there, who are being asked DAILY where your life is going, and what you are going to do with it, here are a few choice one or two liners that may get you off the hook, or at least put a smile on YOUR face. You're welcome.

To answer the question, "So what are you going to do after you graduate?"

To your grandparents---Well, I heard recently of this place in Montana where you get to work for your keep. Kinda like an old Western. It's really cool though! I could be putting up fence posts and expounding on world hunger with REAL PEOPLE. It's totally NOT like a commune or anything. Mom and Dad think it's a great idea.

To the younger, expectant students--McDonald's--yep--they said their manager has a graduate degree in psychology! So--i may have to go back to school to move up, but I'm starting out behind the register for now, since I do have a business degree.

To random people who you don't really know--Stand-up comedy! Yeah, my teachers always said if I didn't go into it I would be wasting my talent. What? No I didn't get a degree in acting; it was in ceramics actually. Why do you ask?

To the old--I'm getting into the Forestry Film Industry. Yeah! You know those people who do the videos of the plants growing? You can ACTUALLY watch trees grow!

To the over-educated, 7-degree, 40 yr old full-time student--Pet grooming. I think pets really need to consider the message they're sending out to children going out without clothes on or their nails done.

To the people who paid for your education: I'm gonna donate platelets, like, every two weeks--did you know they PAY you for that? It's so sweet!

To the raft guide--I'm going to go on welfare--I will make more sitting on my butt than you do getting raft rear all summer! And I can buy beer with THAT money too!


And then you could ask in return: "And what are you going to do about our country's over consumption of fuel, the huge deficit, and tsunami victims in Japan?" And wait for their answer to your huge, life-altering question.

what i spend my "free" money on

When I have a little extra money, I never spend it on pedicures and this is somehow odd to some of my school friends. But I have things to do with my money! Like see movies, for instance, because I love movies! And buy used books--there is little I love more than a good used book store and $10 in my pocket. I also like to hang-out with friends--so some of my money goes towards eating out. And of course the biggest expense is travel--because, if i could, I would travel every month or so to a new place outside the U.S. for the weekend. So--in case you were ever wondering--that's what I spend my "free" money on. Not pedicures, tanning beds, gym memberships, new cars, or outdoor gear :)

roots

When you get married, everyone figures you'll put down roots somewhere. You'll move to a small town, get involved in a church, befriend people at work and people that have the same hobbies as you. We did that. But the problem is, our roots seem to be dying and moving away--not us. In past two years, two of our closest couple friends have gotten a divorce, and one of them has moved away. Another couple moved to Florida, and one of our best guy friends moved to Asheville (though it's close, we still don't see him that often). And then there's the people we meet during the summer and love, but leave during the other three seasons of the year. Oh--we have also had a pastor change while we've been here--they also moved away. And now that I think about it, our first music leader and his wife moved too! Our roots are disappearing right and left, and we feel as if we have stayed put, and yet we're constantly starting over! Lately, with Dave's job ending, we've been looking at other places for jobs. Every time I think about it, I think, "But we'll have to start over," but then I realize I've already started over about three times since we moved HERE, I should be a pro at this now. For example, I love my new friends at school. We text and FB chat and hang out all the time! But what if my contract doesn't get renewed next year; it's pretty certain we really wouldn't see each other that much, considering I don't work in the town we live in. Or Dave--who's really bonded with his fellow employees this year, and now they are being dispersed to look for new jobs--again--he doesn't work where we live. It's exhausting! It almost makes me not want to try! What if i get close to these people and they have a nasty divorce--you say i don't have to choose, but they are gonna make me choose between them when new relationships crop up (i know, been there done that with a few of them already). There is nothing more rewarding than being in true fellowship with people, but it's almost like getting broken up with when circumstances change and relationships dissolve! I don't like it--and I don't really have an answer, but starting over all the time really sucks

i believe...in fairies?

not so much, but that would be great. I would like a cleaning fairy, and a chocolate fairy, and a lesson planning fairy.

During the sermon at church the other day, I started thinking about the line I draw when it comes to "faith." I put that in parenthesis because I feel like people often use "faith" as crutch to be lazy, indecisive, and unappreciative of the abilities they already have. For example, people say, "When God wants me to have a job He'll give me one." Really? So THAT'S why there are millions of people out of work--because God doesn't want them to have jobs? Don't get me wrong, I do NOT believe that, "God helps those who help themselves" (possibly from Ben Franklin...but probably quoted by him from someone else). However, I do believe God creates us as mostly capable human beings, with brains, gumption, and sometimes common sense. So SOME of the people who do not have jobs may not be trying hard enough (on NPR the other day there was a guy who put in about 100 applications a month minimum to finally find a job--now that's REALLY wanting a job), but others just may be down on their luck. So where does using what God gave you, and faith come together? Well, I think we do what we can, work hard, love well, connect with others (maybe one of the hardest things to do), and live in faith that WHATEVER happens, God will be there to see us through it. Faith is not believing God will make everything work out the way you hope it will, it's believing there is something to still hope for when everything falls apart.

new year.....

it's been awhile...hmmm...so what's new? Well, it's now January, instead of November (when I last posted). Since last time, I have enjoyed a beautiful Thanksgiving with my family here, a snowy Christmas with my family in Ireland (and a lovely new nephew), lots of snow days and fun with sleds, a time of growth in my marriage, and an improved outlook on teaching middle schoolers. Oh! And I started taking Spanish classes again! It's a lot right?
First off, I think this past year's Thanksgiving was one of the most rewarding I can remember in quite awhile. It was a great time of visiting with both sides of the family; such good conversations, meals, and love from everyone we saw!
Over Christmas we went back to Ireland to see Dave's family. As soon as we got there, we were snowed in. It stayed below freezing most of our visit, but we got to spend it with all of his family, and new baby Micah too!
After we got back home, it snowed some more :). Well, all of you know that as you have experienced it all--but it's still on the ground and causing school delays here. We were out all but one day in the last week--which led to lots of snow fun at home!
Dave and I, and some good friends and neighborhood kids, sledded quite a bit in the last week (air mattress sledding is the way to go with lots of powder by the way). It also gave Dave and I time to relax together, as he was snowed in with me (yay!). We had some quality time, which we needed after holiday business.
The new Spanish teacher at the high school decided to offer a Spanish class for teachers, and he is wonderful; very excited and enthusiastic. I'm learning a lot already! I can even do the Mexican handshake :).
Anyway, that's a little bit of my life since November.
OH! I almost forgot my New Year's Resolutions!
1-Yoga twice a week for at least 30 mins (i failed the 1st week--but so far so good on the 2nd one!)
2-Take a vacation with just Dave and I some time this year (we haven't done that in ages, and I know we don't have kids, but it's better time spent together when we are out of the house)--we were going to go during Spring Break--but with the snow days, it looks like we may have had it already! :)

time....

Time flies.....always. I can't believe it has been two months since I posted on here--it seems days ago. It's been ten weeks since i started teaching, and, although i don't have panic attacks anymore (at least daily), i still feel as if i'm in a whirlwind. Sometimes it's all i can do to stay sane--i'm not sure i feel as if i'm actually teaching them anything. I SINCERELY hope i am--but sometimes i don't know. I ask myself over and over again, "What do I want them to really get out of this? What do I want them to learn?" and sometimes the answers to those questions aren't easy things to teach--what do i REALLY want them to learn? I want them to learn respect, the value of an education, the value of a life, the repercussions words easily said and not easily taken back, and, I remember myself saying this to people before i started teaching, how to love reading. But HOW do you teach those things--i mean--really, ideas would be helpful!!! And here's another one--how do you inspire students to WANT to learn--how do you light a fire under a kid that really doesn't give a flying flip about grades (if i have to hear "i don't care" ONE MORE TIME today....)??? Candy only goes so far! How do you let a child go--sure "No Child Left Behind" sounds great--but, as most parents know, there are some things you CANNOT FORCE on a child--I can only give them the tools--i cannot make them learn. When does it become their responsibility????? The students that have parent involvement will always turn in homework--or at least most of it. I can call them, and they will back me up. But for those who do not, who are in an institution, or whose parent(s) are so busy trying to help them survive with food and shelter to have time to worry also about their education, my remonstrations fall on bleeding ears. So here I am, Sunday night, trying to give myself a pep-talk. "Leigh," I say, "You go in there tomorrow and be excited--tell them they WILL learn today. Smile more. Laugh. Connect with their life" But who knows how i'll feel by 3:30. Is it terrible that i often feel like our public educations system is being held together with duct tape and fairy dust? I love the grit--i love these kids--i see they need help--but sometimes-----i too surrounded by "great ideas" and "reality" to really make this work.

So tomorrow--i will march in there--and hand out a sparkly wand (oh yes, 8th graders still love toys) and a tiny plastic trophy, and I will say, "You people are stinkin awesome--and you are gonna change the world!" because I hope that I can too.

hello???........

Ok--so I'm not sure anyone ever reads this anymore--since it's been over a MONTH since i last posted, but if you do, here's an update. I'm a teacher now--in case ya didn't know--i know--it's a bit crazy to think of me in a classroom. My kids are lovely--ha ha--well--they're kids, so they have good days and bad days. I teach 8th grade English at the middle school (jr high?) in Macon county (Franklin). It's an adjustment from the expected high school teaching, but it's going well so far! I'm not quite into the swing of things yet, still having to catch my bearings some days. Some afternoons I wonder why i do this--but come evening and some sleep, I always remember my students fondly. :) I just want to teach well--i'm still trying to find my teaching personality with these guys. I hope that I get better at it--right now I feel kinda like i'm flailing, but I'm just gonna keep plugging away--asking lots of questions, and doing my best!

I think the hardest part is the hours. With Dave gone three days a week, and then me working when he is off, it often feels like we're passing in the halls (though we don't really have any of those, lol). The long weekend was really wonderful, and I'm working hard on trying not to bring work home on the weekends.

We officially have a babysitter now--ok ok--DOGsitter. She comes on Tuesdays and Wednesdays to play with the dogs a couple of times during the day, as those are my late nights. I leave at 6:30 am and don't usually get home till after 6:30 pm on those days. Hoping to have late nights when Dave does. Anyway--that's the update. Now--I gotta take a shower and get to bed! I'm exhausted! :) NIGHT!

firsts

Yesterday I kayaked the Ocoee for the first time. It's a pretty big river, class 3's and 4's. I'm not quite sure i was totally prepared to kayak those classes, but I thought I should step up my game and push myself, so I went for it! Two good friends here took me down and guided me through each rapid (I generally avoided the class 4's by taking sneak routes, i need to get a bit better before i hit it full on). I have to say, it started with a bang! I swam (came out of my boat) the very first rapid-which was a doozy by the way--lost my paddle--but finally swam to the side with my boat. I was shaking all over! It was definitely the biggest class swim I've ever done. I didn't get cut up too badly, but I got some minor cuts and bruises; feeling it today for sure! After that I was pretty nervous. My friend Tyler gave me his paddle to use (you're awesome dude!) and he found a normal raft paddle (yes, one sided), and did the whole rest of the river that way! My adrenaline was still pumping pretty good as I ran the rest of the river--biggest waves I've ever paddled through--but it was fantastic! Super, SUPER fun. So--my day of firsts went like this:

--First swim in a class 3+ rapid
--First time losing a paddle
--First time paddling a class 3+ river
--First surf and consequential combat roll in big water
--First time FINDING my paddle (a nice raft guide returned it at the end of the day)
--First time hitchhiking (had to get back to the car park up river)

As I was riding in the back of that truck on the way to the put-in at the top, I couldn't stop smiling! It was such a fantastic day, and I KNOW I will paddle it again--though I may walk past Grumpy's (the first rapid) to start for quite a while. WUHOO! It was awesome.

summer

In the summers I get to live a slightly different life. My friends may or may not believe there is a God, there is no social acceptability except that you are true to yourself and love people, and I don't get looked down upon when I curse (which, coincidentally, happens more often in the summer). Every summer I almost wish I could melt into my summer world. A world where things are simpler, raft guiding and work drama, and most of all have fun, well, that's all there is. I have made some true friends this summer--friends my heart already has a special place for--friends I won't quickly grow out of--i love them deeply even though it's only been a few months. I've been reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" for the first time this summer, and it's really meant a lot to me. But what pushed me to write this morning was a specific passage:

The real issue with Christian community was that it was conditional. You were loved, but if you had questions, questions about whether the Bible was true or whether American was a good country or whether last week's sermon was good, you were not so loved. You were loved in word, but there was, without question, a social commodity that was being withheld from you until you shaped up...If you wanted to be valued, you became a clone...There was love in the Christian community, but it was conditional love. (Blue Like Jazz pp 214-215)

Why is it that we Christians have the hardest time with that: love? TWO THINGS--that's it, just two things Jesus said were the things to live by. "LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, and LOVE your neighbor as yourself." Last Sunday our associate pastor spoke on just that--our job is to LOVE, just love. Why can't we love lesbians, gays, republicans, democrats, and all races on earth??? I love my God, I love that HE loves me, little ol me, who's screwed up more than a few things in life. I thank Him daily that He blessed me with a wonderful guy who feels the same way about Him. But my main job, is to love like Jesus loved while he was here--eating with the unclean, loving the unlovable, and remembering that those Holier than Thou people are in that category too. Love. K--now I'm gonna go kayak the Ocoee--you should start praying now :)

TO DO:

-wash clothes
-hang clothes out (PLEASE DON'T RAIN!!!)
-take dogs to park
-go grocery shopping (when Dave came home last night he said, "you REALLY don't like shopping do you?" "No--why do you ask?" "Cause there's no food in the house" "I eat a lot of hummus and bread :) ")
-wash dishes
-get clothes off line
-fold clothes
-pay bills
-take trash and recyclables
-give blood @ 5:45
-meet dave and head to going away party for friends

That's what my day looks like---or SHOULD look like. Now I must just get off the couch and start doing it!

checked off:

Movies watched so far:
Iron Man 2
Robin Hood
Sex and the City 2
Letters to Juliet


So far none have impressed me too much. Thinking of watching Prince of Persia, but since i never played the game, i'm not sure i'm really gonna get it. I did like Robin Hood; i thought it was a nice take on an old tale--it was really more of a prequel to the usual story. I feel like I watch a lot of movies when Dave is gone--but most would say I watch a lot of movies period, and I would probably agree. My life at the moment is odd to me. When Dave is gone I feel like I lose motivation to get stuff done. I mean, I do stuff with other people and I go to work, when needed, but house work kinda falls through the cracks--maybe i'm becoming a bachelor :). I do tend to hang out with more single people when he's not around, it feels weird to hang out with our married friends by myself. We play a lot of Settlers, watch movies, and drink coffee. It's fun though. It almost feels like I'm back in college, the first time, just finding my footing on my own. I do hate sleeping alone though, especially when my duplex mate is gone. I feel restless--like I just can't figure out what i'm doing right now. Work is slow, applications are coming up with nothing, the only positive i'm getting is from Gaston, and that's not anywhere near here--or more importantly--Dave's current job. What is it I'm supposed to be doing right now? Guess I feel a bit purposeless since SA.
Well--i've been sitting on the couch for far too long. Dishes need to be done and I'm heading to see Dave this evening and we're spending the weekend out in A-ville. Signing off.

Enter Summer Movies!!!!

So last night was the kick-off to my summer movie season. Iron Man 2 was the first one of my list, releasing last Friday (May 7). I was pretty excited about this movie--the first one was so kick-ass, how could i not be? A big-name cast of actors including Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Samual L Jackson, Mickey Rourke, Robert Downey Jr, and the amazing Don Cheadle, made me think this was going to be even better than the last. Unfortunately, I was sadly mistaken. First, there were millions of tiny plots throughout the movie that just didn't go far enough. It seemed almost as if they never really had a main story line, but chose every piece of writing available and put it all together just to make a second movie. Second, the characters, new and old, weren't developed enough. That in itself was surprising to me because even Tony Stark wasn't delved into in this film, especially the relationship with his father that could have been a great thing. The only character I felt was really fleshed out was the villain, Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke. As everyone knows action/comic book movies NEED a good villain, I'd say the writers weren't doing anything out of the ordinary there. The new character, Natalie Rushman (played by Scarlett Johansson), was so under written it seems should could have been written out! Was Pepper (Paltrow) just not sexy enough that you writers were trying to interject some "ooh la la" to the film? Because Paltrow can be sexy--just give her something to work with for a change (and where did that scene with her kissing the helmet go anyway???). Third, and lastly, it was just anticlimactic. The final fight scene was over in about 15 seconds, while the robot chase scene lasted forever! I mean, it could be summed up by saying, "Ok Rhodey (Cheadle), Flying V " (enter Chariots of Fire theme song)... BAM--they win! All that to say--Iron Man 2--you let me down. Oh well, Robin Hood, you're up next. Don't disappoint me (but I mean, it's Russel Crowe, it's gonna be good, or at lest sexy ;).

I am Eustace

I am Eustace. The Lion has cut me deep. I have shed layer upon layer until I finally reappeared. Others recognize me for who I was, yet I cannot find her anywhere. Each layer was painfully lanced off, but it was only necessary. And yet, I have returned to a foreign land, not from. I look around and I see nothing that is of worth to me. I return to a trade I don't believe in, to a people that don't believe in me. I look in the water, and it scares me what I see. Will I just go back? Will I not learn from these pleasant tattoos upon my soul??? I prepare for the season whilst my heart flutters desperately, urging me to listen to its flailing beats. Daily there I lived with too much purpose, too much worth, overflowing use. The cries of the helpless--their ceaseless need made me often unhinged, but without it I ached to know their necessity. Everyone around me seems to be moving forward on the right foot, but none of my shoes fit. This change, this evolution has left me stranded in a strange state. I wait by the roadside for the bus to the new world, but everyone keeps passing me by. I cannot live without it anymore--I have tasted purpose, being, selflessness, smiles, hugs, kisses, momentous occasions, miracles in tiny hands and feet. I cannot go back down the rabbit hole of unconsciousness...but where will I go...I fidget to stop the tears...where is the bus?

I'm BAAAAAACK

So by some freak chance I actually got on the plane on Saturday. I wasn't even going to go! We had all just gone to see The Blindside--which just hit SA--and i had thrown all my stuff in the back just in case we decided to swing by the airport. It was pretty much the worst packing job in history since it was the 3rd time that week. I hadn't taken a shower, applied make-up, or picked out my clothes especially for the plane....so of course i got on (all greasy and everything--so lovely!). When we arrived at the airport--maybe 30 mins before the gate closes--I meandered up to the check-in desk to check out the situation. The first thing that caught my eye was the lack of about 30 people milling about hoping to get on the plane. I thought maybe they had already told them to go home. I did see a girl I had seen 5 days previous trying to get on though. So she and I, her name was Kate, stand at the check-in desk and chat up the lady. It's all very casual, I don't really expect to get on, we laugh and joke, and then she says, "I decided a while back to let you guys on." My heart starts beating erradically, SERIOUSLY??? She's joking right? Kate and I both ask the same thing. I hadn't even packed my carry-on with care! I mean--whatever i couldn't get in my bag I just stuffed in! The lady at the gate--how I do adore her--hands us our tickets and says, "Go straight to the gate!" My hands are now shaking--my head is not processing this yet. I rapidly hand Hannah (my roommate in SA at DOH) my keys to the room and SA cell phone. "Ummm--goodbye then!" I say. I hug her and try to get all my stuff together. This is our 3rd trip to the airport together--it feels like a ritual we're breaking now--kinda sad actually!--no late night McDonalds together as I text to Beth, "didn't get on--see ya tomorrow!" I finally get all my stuff together and Kate and I run off gleefully into the hordes of security to make our plane. I jump into the fast-track, high class line (there's like MILLION people in the other and we won't make it if we wait behind them). They glare at me, but I don't care, cause I'M GOING HOME!!! I convince the dude in that line telling me to go back that I cannot go to the other line--my plane is LEAVING. He concedes, though I think he just does it cause it doesn't look like he has a choice, or maybe he just doesn't care anymore (it is 9 pm at night). Kate and I make it through SA Customs, Security, and more security, and finally get to the plane. She looks at our tickets--Are these first class???--she says. I say I don't like to think about it until we're there. They were first class--we were even sitting right beside each other! Her first trip in first class--she was SO PUMPED--me too obviously--and it was fun to show her what all the buttons did, get Mimosas together, and then check out the menu--yeah--on a plane, lol.

So now I'm home and awake in the wee hours of the morning. I awoke at 4:30 this morning, though I wrestled to stay in bed asleep, I finally gave up about 5:30. I walked around our apartment and wondered things like--why don't we have a small lamp i the living room? has our microwave always been black? do we have any coffee? Gotta say, it's an odd sensation to be home. Lying in bed listening to Dave's breathing was so comforting. Too bad he has to leave for 8 days this morning, but at least we're on the same continent, even the same country and state! :) As I write this i'm in my new pj's I got from my mom for Christmas. I forgot we left just after Christmas, it seems like ages ago! My dogs are cuddled up beside of me, sleeping on the couch....My babies would just be getting up from their naps now--Mr Whiney Pants is crying cause that's what he does, my Biggest Boy is smiling and getting into everything, Big D is always ready to eat....I wish I had cuddled them all just five minutes more, but it wouldn't have been enough.

not gone yet---here's the deal

When you’re flying standby, and the people behind the desk tell everyone (all standbys) to gather round, it’s not a good thing. Last night, after getting all ready to go home, we were told no non-revs (or standbys—people who don’t make them any money), were being allowed on the plane. After that, getting re-ticketed to try again tonight, we were told the seats were SOLD OUT for the rest of the month. I’m not sure how large a percentage the flights are allowed to be overbooked by, but whatever that is, those “seats” are sold too. It’s never good when you look up a flight known to exist and it doesn’t show up. Some people there had already been waiting 2 to 3 days and hadn’t gotten on yet because…. Delta is flying cargo—not people. That means, when there’s cargo weight that can be put on (people who bring too much and then have to pay dearly for it), they put the cargo on instead of the non-revs for the simple fact that it makes them money and we don’t. All understandable really, it’s what we signed up for—a cheap flight with no guarantees—but if they are going to do that for a week or more, they really should let people know!

So, I am number 20 on a list of 27 standby passengers to fly out tonight—with supposedly 40 seats available. However, that doesn’t include the cargo, so I guess we’ll so how it goes ☺. Right now the plan is as follows. First, try to get out tonight, God willing. Second, stay until the first week in April (around the 3rd or 4th), then fly out then when it looks better. Choosing this option would also allow me to see more of Africa, as I will have to vacate the country for a few days because I can’t stay longer than 90 days in one stretch. I will probably head to Swaziland for the weekend.

Last night I slept restlessly—as soon as I got back from the airport I immediately started looking up the prices for tickets to Raleigh, Atlanta, Charlotte, or Knoxville. The lowest I could find was around $1,000. I was so distressed! The lady next to me in line to change her flights said, “Honey you won’t get out this month like this. I tried for four days one time—if it’s sold out it’s not happening…Go to Paris—they have 10 flights out a day!” I looked at Paris by the way—it’s true—but it’s still not cheap. This morning the light looked better, though I still felt daunted by the task at hand and a little lost without Dave’s guidance and comfort. I looked for flights again this morning—nothing new (though if I wanna spend another $1,000 I can go home via Amsterdam and spend 21 hrs there—cool idea—not so cool price).

I wandered out of the room I am now sharing with my new friend Hannah, and Beth told me to get in the van, we were taking the kids to swim lessons. Normally I’m not allowed to be with the toddlers, new people make their lives more chaotic than necessary, but today she could see I was down and told me to “come on.” Watching them laugh and play in the water, splashing and kicking, it lifted my spirits. I came home and dug into the Word, needing some wisdom and comfort from my Savior. I finished reading Matthew (the crucificition of Christ, even though he was resurrected, didn’t lift my spirits well). Then I prayed that God would give me a passage that would comfort and guide me. I looked at the index and was drawn to Hebrews chapter 13. As soon as I started reading those words, tears fell from my eyes. Verses like, “BY NO MEANS SHALL I DESERT YOU, NOR IN ANY WAY SHALL I ABANDON YOU…THE LORD IS A HELPER TO ME, AND I WILL NOT FEAR…JESUS CHRIST IS THE SAME YESTERDAY AND TODAY AND INTO THE AGES” Came pouring from the pages. Oh how GOOD my God is! I praised Him for listening to my poor murmurings and flutterings of my heart and comforting my soul. As the Aunties constantly repeat, “God is good AL THE TIME…” and His mercies are new every morning.

So, no matter what happens tonight—if I go or stay here until April, I know my God is with me and He will comfort me. Maybe my work here is not done (though I didn’t appreciated it yesterday Catherine—I do today ☺ ). Thank you all SO dearly for your prayers—please DON’T STOP praying—especially for Door of Hope ministries. I don’t know what I would do without my family’s prayers. Also, a huge “thank you” goes out to my mom—as she took my biggest worry off my plate concerning what to do with out dogs. Mom, you are so gracious. I love you. PS—this doesn’t mean you have to keep the dogs till Easter ☺ Dave will call you and work it out.

A few of my fav. S. African things

 

Things I will miss when I return to the U.S. of A. (per request by Carey)

1, The sound of my babies' cries in the morning--I know that's an odd thing to miss--but I can tell each baby by their cry
2. Each and every one of my twelve babies--and those that have already been adopted
3. Big moments--ie first steps, smiles, solid foods, etc
4. Their laughter
5. My boy that I became especially fond of--Mr Whiney Pants--Beth pointed out I tend to attach to the whiney ones (I love an especially ornery baby last time as well)
6. Beth--my best friend
7. the sight of Dave holding a baby
8. the unique art work here
9. the warmth and sunshine of a S. African summer
10. the Aunties/Uncles I have come to love so dearly

A few of my favorite things